Book Club: Chapter 5 Drawing Lines in the Sand

One of the Chief things parents do to build character in thier children is to establish and enforce the boundaries within which children must live. Kids need a consistent picture of what is right and what is wrong. But there's a limit to the number of rules children can remember and you can enforce. Pick your battles. You need a handful of rules that reflect your highest values, the main characther issues you want your children to internalize by the time they're adults.

1. Do you have a set of rules tha tyou consistently instill and reinforce in your home? If so what are they?

2. Here are the top dozen rules Revolutionary Prents told us they focused on. How do these differ from yours?

a. Tell the Truth

b. Never cheat or steal

c. Make sure at least one parent knows where you are at all times. Get parental approval

before going from one place to another.

d. Show respect for others, now matter how you feel about them.

e. Help and serve others.

f. Control your tongue.

g. Do not judge other people's motives. Judge their behavior only insofar as it personally affects you or your family members.

i. Take good care of your body.

j. Actively pursue your faith.

k. Do your best at school.

l. Do your household chores.

m. Accept punishment as an appropriate response to breaking the rules.

Challenge: Sit down with your children and your newly formed set of rules and discuss them with yourkids. Ask them what they think. Did some seem like a new idea? Ask them which ones they think will be the hardest to keep.

Chapter 4: Developing Character

If our goal is to raise children into adults who love God and others passionately, then our two main jobs are to foster faith and instill character. The two go hand in hand-character grows in the soil of Faith. The below principles are from interviews Barna did with Revolutionary parents. These are the things they think made a difference:

• Start When Your Children Are Young


• Create A Plan


• Make Time to Talk with Your children about character


• Provide structure


• Don't let your own needs dominate

1. Take some time to think about each of your children. How would you describe each one's personality, strengths, and weaknesses?

2. What roles (such as attending church each week, spending time with extended family, being home for family dinners) or household tasks (such as cleaning their room or taking out the trash ) do your children know they're expected to do consistently?

3. Which is more important to you: To see your children outperform the other children in their classes or to see them love the other children in their classes?

WEEKLY CHALLENGE

If you had trouble with question 1 because your children's unique traits aren't clear to you , what can you do to make time over the next week to spend time with them, observe them, and reflect on what they're like?