Mary Did You Know?

We've all heard the song, "Mary Did You Know" but do we really stop and think about that. Did Mary really know. That night when the angel spoke to her and told her she would be the vessel for the Christ, the Savior of the World, did she know? When she went to see Elizabeth and the baby in Elizabeth's womb leaped for joy (Luke 1:44). Did she know?

I think the real question is, does it matter? Whether she knew the enormity or not she obeyed. She was open the plan God had for her. I was over at http://www.incourage.me/ reading the other day and found this blog http://www.incourage.me/2010/12/why-a-true-christmas-might-be-painful.html. It is titled "Why a true Christmas Might Be Painful. " Please take the time to read it if you can. She writes about what it really means to be a womb for Christ.

May we all be open to becoming a vessel for Christ this Chritmas.

Chapter 7: Fostering Faith

According to Barna, "Instilling character will build a good adult, but not necessarily an adult who loves God. So in addition, we need to instill values and beliefs that will lead children to a deep and lifelong faith in God." (pg 93 Revolutionary Parenting Workbook).

Below are the values and beliefs that Barna discusses:

• The Bible is THE source

What role does the Bible play in your life? Describe how often you read it and why.

• Absolute Moral Truth Exists

If you were going to have a coversation with your children about what truth is and where we can go to find it, what might you say?

• The Church is our support system

What help is your church able to offer in reinforcing faith lessons you want your children to learn?

• Servanthood should be a lifestyle

What obstacles do you face in making service at least a monthly habit for yourself and your children?

• Prayer is essential

When can you pray with your children? Make a list of opportunities you have.

• Love is the Centerpiece

What can you do this week to let your children know you love them?

Chapter 6 "Behaving like a Parent"

Many parents are embarrassed tobe The Parent. It's so authoritarian! But great parents embrace the role without apology. Parenting is not a democracy! Great parents say they are in charge and Act like it! Great parents learn to control their tempers.

*Because our words have power to damage, we have to develop the discipline to control them. Not investing the effort to do this isn't an option. It's an evasion to blame our children when we lose our tembers - if we lack self-discipline, how can we expect it from a child? - Barna Revolutionary Parenting Workbook.

Questions:

1. How often do you find yourself angry at your children?

2. What do you typically do when you are angry at them?

3. What is one thing you could do to grow in controlling your temper?

4. Do you typically have a reason for your decisions that you could explain? Or do you tend to repond to your children by instinct? Describe what you do and why?

5. What is one step you could take to manage your time better to have more time for your children?

6. What are your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to listening to your children?

Weekly Challenge:

Make a plan to spend time withe ach of your children to deepen your relationship. When will you take tie with each one? What will you do together?

Book Club: Chapter 5 Drawing Lines in the Sand

One of the Chief things parents do to build character in thier children is to establish and enforce the boundaries within which children must live. Kids need a consistent picture of what is right and what is wrong. But there's a limit to the number of rules children can remember and you can enforce. Pick your battles. You need a handful of rules that reflect your highest values, the main characther issues you want your children to internalize by the time they're adults.

1. Do you have a set of rules tha tyou consistently instill and reinforce in your home? If so what are they?

2. Here are the top dozen rules Revolutionary Prents told us they focused on. How do these differ from yours?

a. Tell the Truth

b. Never cheat or steal

c. Make sure at least one parent knows where you are at all times. Get parental approval

before going from one place to another.

d. Show respect for others, now matter how you feel about them.

e. Help and serve others.

f. Control your tongue.

g. Do not judge other people's motives. Judge their behavior only insofar as it personally affects you or your family members.

i. Take good care of your body.

j. Actively pursue your faith.

k. Do your best at school.

l. Do your household chores.

m. Accept punishment as an appropriate response to breaking the rules.

Challenge: Sit down with your children and your newly formed set of rules and discuss them with yourkids. Ask them what they think. Did some seem like a new idea? Ask them which ones they think will be the hardest to keep.

Chapter 4: Developing Character

If our goal is to raise children into adults who love God and others passionately, then our two main jobs are to foster faith and instill character. The two go hand in hand-character grows in the soil of Faith. The below principles are from interviews Barna did with Revolutionary parents. These are the things they think made a difference:

• Start When Your Children Are Young


• Create A Plan


• Make Time to Talk with Your children about character


• Provide structure


• Don't let your own needs dominate

1. Take some time to think about each of your children. How would you describe each one's personality, strengths, and weaknesses?

2. What roles (such as attending church each week, spending time with extended family, being home for family dinners) or household tasks (such as cleaning their room or taking out the trash ) do your children know they're expected to do consistently?

3. Which is more important to you: To see your children outperform the other children in their classes or to see them love the other children in their classes?

WEEKLY CHALLENGE

If you had trouble with question 1 because your children's unique traits aren't clear to you , what can you do to make time over the next week to spend time with them, observe them, and reflect on what they're like?

Chapter 3: Biblical Priorities

Revolutionary Parent's first priority is God. Their second priority is their children. Why? Serving God by loving our neighbors or, put another way, doing the work of God's kingdom is the second part of the Great Commandment. And our children are the neighbors God has entrusted to us in a unique way. Our neighbors across town and across the globe are important, but our children are our primary mission field. Teaching them to know, love, and serve God is our greatest act of service to Him.

(pg 54-Revolutionary Parenting Workbook:Leader's Edition)



Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

Do you see your children as a gift, a reward? How do you see them?

How would (or how does) seeing them as a gift affect the way you interact with them?


Read Deuteronomy 6:1-12, 20-21


In this passage, Moses gave God's instructions for parents.

1. Describe how God wants the actions of parents to affect their children and grandchildren.

2. How does God want parents to go about training their children to obey His words?

3. What principles here are relevant to us today?

If your child were to ask you, "Why do we live according to the Bible instead of the way non-Christians around us live?" what would you say?

Chapter 2: The Goals of Revolutionary Parents


Chapter 2 discusses three basic parenting strategies that were discovered in Barna's research:

• Parenting by default-simply following what one sees society, family, or friends do, or the expectations they loudly voice.


• Parenting by trial and error-assuming there are no absolute guidelines, some parents try something; if it doesn't work, they try something else.

The goal of these two strategies is the survival of parents and children.

But there is also a third strategy that was found.

• Treating God's Word in the Bible as the chief source for the goals, the thinking , and the actions of parents. The goal of these parents was nothing less than the transformation of their children into the image of Christ. they set the bar way above survival.

Revolutionary Parents look to the Bible for their parenting goals. (Read Mark 12:28-31)

With this in mind-

1. What does it mean to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? What thoughts, feelings, and actions does this involve?

2. Imagine the people your children might be at age 25. Imagine what they might be like if they become people who love God fully with heart, sould, mind, and strenght, and who seek the good of others as much as they seek their own good.

1. How would that affect the way thier use their time?


2. How would it affect the way they use money?


3. How would if affect their thoughts?


4. How might it affect their career choices?

Weekly Challenge:

It's not immediatley obivous to many of us how to raise children who love God and others. Whith our busy scheules, we may feel grateful simply to raise children who do their homework and eat decnt food! However, it can be done. The first steps are simply saying;

• "Okay, I see what God is asking me to aitm at."
• "I'm interested in learning how."
• "I want to know what this is going to cost me in terms of time and effort."

Are you able to affirm these 3 statements? If not, what's the sicking point for you?